Fat, what a loaded word.  Once upon a time, fatness indicated wealth and prosperity.  Those times have long gone.  Now it is a fat that brings such heated debates about excess, health and beauty. Americans, in particular are often accused of being a culture that revels in its fatness. But, I suspect that most people “reveling in their fatness” don’t see it that way.  At 5’3’’ and 183lbs, I never imagined I would be labeled as fat.  I anyways had problems with my weight and been known to fluctuate between sizes 4-13.  Now I am a solid 13ish and am simply tired of feeling shame and anger for my size.

I have trouble fitting into my fat-pants from my undergrad days as well as tighter fitting tops.  It is saddening, but the self hate does help the situation.  I realize that a good amount of people are against the fat positive movement, however I believe it is on the grounds that it is somehow promoting laziness and bad health.   I don’t believe that.  I do believe that exercising and eating right are important no matter what size one is.  Some of us will never be tiny people and that’s that. The best thing we can do is actively live a healthy lifestyle.

Which brings me to the yoga practice. I have been an avid practitioner for about 4 years now. I cannot believe it has been that long… I stumble upon the yoga practice as an AmeriCorps volunteer and have not looked back since.  Sure there have been loooong hiatus, but I always come back to the practice; I always come back home.  I’ve had self acceptance issues for as long as I can remember, luckily the yoga practice helps my focus on my strengths and acknowledge but not dwell on my weakness.

In writing this blog, I hope I can keep the positive energy strong and focused to better accept my life, my weight and all the nuances in between.