The advantages of weight gain

It is funny how your body can transform so much and how that affects the yoga practice.  Since gaining weight and not practicing as regularly, my practice feels less solid. It is taking more time to get to my optimal practice form.  Jump forwards and jump backs are hard as fuck now, as well as my personal favs- the backbends.  However, it’s not all terrible and hopeless.  Chaturanga feels “fun” because the added weight makes me feel strong and solid-like a tree, a wonderful huge redwood tree. 

I like to call this the roof chaturanga pose. Having your butt in the air is the correct alignment...

Chaturanga is soooooo fun!

Standing poses still suck, but I am really feeling the grounded-ness of the poses.  I can also use my swelling bosom as an excellent excuse for not getting so far off the ground in locust pose.  “Really- I’m like a foot off the ground, but of course you can’t tell because my boobies are so big!”

The real McCoy.  This fella does not fuck around. "You want locust pose, well I am a fucking locust! Beat that!"

 Also, in inversion I find it way easier to feel my core working and therefore am more in tune with those muscles. I don't know about you, but I generally find it hard to sometimes feel my body.

Pose of the moment

Who you calling fat? 

Uttanasana or standing forward bend is a great pose for stenching and strengthening the calves, feet and inner thighs.  This is one of my favorite poses not just because of the physical benefits, but it is also a great pose for relieving stress and anxiety. It is not necessary to have straight legs in this pose, as a slight bend in the knee (or deep bend, depending on your flexibility) does the job just fine.
Right now, that pose feels especially delish with my tender shins. Plus it is a more relaxing pose for me to focus on ujjayi breathing (or deep nosy breathing).

Grrr

For me the hardest part about keeping a consistence exercising schedule is finding motivation to do so.  Right now I am dealing with a sprained ankle that has yet to heal completely.  I have had a terrible cold that was hard to fight off and I still have great fatigue. I am great at making myself feel guilty and that is just what I am doing now. I have been running and practicing yoga on alternate days and today would be a running day.  However, every time I run my ankle gets pretty swollen making it hard to walk around without taking some ibuprofen. Thus making my ankle recovery even slower.  What to do? Hm… I guess it is push up time… Oh. Joy. Well, at least there is yoga tomorrow.

Fat, what a loaded word.  Once upon a time, fatness indicated wealth and prosperity.  Those times have long gone.  Now it is a fat that brings such heated debates about excess, health and beauty. Americans, in particular are often accused of being a culture that revels in its fatness. But, I suspect that most people “reveling in their fatness” don’t see it that way.  At 5’3’’ and 183lbs, I never imagined I would be labeled as fat.  I anyways had problems with my weight and been known to fluctuate between sizes 4-13.  Now I am a solid 13ish and am simply tired of feeling shame and anger for my size.

I have trouble fitting into my fat-pants from my undergrad days as well as tighter fitting tops.  It is saddening, but the self hate does help the situation.  I realize that a good amount of people are against the fat positive movement, however I believe it is on the grounds that it is somehow promoting laziness and bad health.   I don’t believe that.  I do believe that exercising and eating right are important no matter what size one is.  Some of us will never be tiny people and that’s that. The best thing we can do is actively live a healthy lifestyle.

Which brings me to the yoga practice. I have been an avid practitioner for about 4 years now. I cannot believe it has been that long… I stumble upon the yoga practice as an AmeriCorps volunteer and have not looked back since.  Sure there have been loooong hiatus, but I always come back to the practice; I always come back home.  I’ve had self acceptance issues for as long as I can remember, luckily the yoga practice helps my focus on my strengths and acknowledge but not dwell on my weakness.

In writing this blog, I hope I can keep the positive energy strong and focused to better accept my life, my weight and all the nuances in between.